The coming of the infant King means the gracious destruction of the kingdom
of self and a loving welcome to the kingdom of God.

It’s the inescapable, destructive commitment of every person that was ever born. It marches down a pathway of separation from God and our ultimate doom. None of us successfully avoid it. We see it in others and it bothers us, but somehow we are blind to it in ourselves. It shapes what we think, desire, say, and do. It shapes our unwritten law for the people we live with and a host of unrealistic expectations for the situations we live in. It explains why we are so often irritated and impatient. It describes why some of us are perennially unhappy and some of us trudge through life depressed. It causes us to want what we will never, ever have and to demand what we do not deserve. It puts us at odds with one another and in endless fights with God. It is one of the deep diseases of our sin nature and a core reason for the birth of Jesus.

Paul says that Jesus came so “that those who live might no longer live for themselves” (2 Cor. 5:14–15). Consider Paul’s three-word description of what sin does to all people: “live for themselves.” That’s what we all do from the first moment of our lives. We all demand to be in the center of our world. We all tend to be too focused on what we want, on what we think we need, and on our feelings. We all want our own way, and we want people to stay out of our way. We all want to be sovereign over our lives and to write our own rules. We demand to be served, indulged, agreed with, accepted, and respected. In our self-centeredness, we convince ourselves that our wants are our needs, and when we do, we judge the love of God and others by their willingness to deliver them. When we are angry, it’s seldom because the people around us have broken God’s law; most often we are angry because people have broken the law of our happiness. Because we live for our happiness, happiness always eludes us—because every fulfilled desire is followed by yet another desire.

Now, I understand that this is not the stuff you want to be thinking about during the Christmas season. What I’m talking about isn’t part of your typical holiday meditations. But what I’m talking about is an essential part of the drama, grace, and victory of the coming of the Messiah. As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, we also need to reflect on the violence of grace. What do I mean? Jesus came to decimate our self-oriented kingdoms of one so that he could welcome us to his glorious kingdom of wisdom, grace, and love. Grace destroys so that it can rescue. Grace destroys so that it can bless us with something much, much better. Grace destroys what has held us in bondage and frees us to live, love, and serve One greater than ourselves. Jesus came to endure a violent death so that in the violence of grace he could free us from the kingdom of self and transport us to his kingdom of life and light that will never, ever end. Now that’s a story worth celebrating!

For further study: James 4:1–10

For parents and children:

Central theme: Selfishness

Get your children to talk about what it means to be selfish. Ask them if there is any place in their lives where they think they are selfish. Talk to them about how sin causes us all to live for ourselves. Tell them that the Christmas story is about God, in love, sending his Son to rescue selfish people from themselves.